Asalam alyakum

I bought a book, a book that had great recommendations on Amazon, Good Reads, and from a friend.  I was excited…a book about Islam that the general population, and not just Muslims are reading — and I thought I might use it as a book club to interact with the followers of IHiP.  So what book was this, you ask, what is this “fantastic” book?  It’s called Mother of the Believers: A Novel of the Birth of Islam by Kamran Pasha….but I have a lot to say about it, and not much of it is good.

First of all – it’s not fantastic.  It’s horrible.  It started out okay, I liked his introduction, I liked his rationale for choosing to do some of the things he did in the book…and within the first 100 pages, I was brought to tears.  I was really excited.  Then it just went all to hell.  His story telling is weak at best, he has really horrible foreshadowing…at least once in every chapter you read something like “If only I knew of the darkness that was to come…”  Okay, I get it, something bad is going to happen.  On the whole, I think his writing is rather shallow and immature.  Maybe my standards are too high…but I just don’t like it.

That’s the extent of my critique on his writing…now to get to the story.  I must preface this with the fact that when I bought this book, I  thought that it was going to be a story about the birth of Islam akin to the film, “The Message” with Anthony Quinn (which is a great movie by the way!  Watch it!).  I thought it was going to be retelling of this story but from Aisha’s (ra) point of view.  Boy was I wrong.  This is a story that is loosely based on the rise of Islam but filled with all kinds of additions, omissions and what I personally feel is an anti-Islam agenda.

Some my reasoning for this opinion:

• Throughout the book, Pasha seems to forget that Islam gave women the right to choose who they marry.  Not once is it mentioned in this book – in fact, it’s quite the opposite – women are married off left and right to people without even a consultation on her part.
• As we know, the wives of the Prophet (pbuh) all lived together, each with their own room.  Pasha, however, doesn’t choose to call it a room…nor a dorm, not even an apartment.  No, the word that Pasha chooses to use for the places where the wives of the Prophet lived — CELLS.  Yes, that’s right…cells…like a jail cell.
• Pasha explains why he choose Aisha’s age of marriage as 9.  It makes sense: at that time, girls were considered women once they began to menstruate.  BUT – he also plays on this youth, in a way that makes it repulsive.  On page 179 he writes, “Not knowing what else to do, I crawled up beside him and put my arms around his chest.  I pressed my small breasts against his chest, hoping the nurturing comfort of my budding womanhood would bring him some peace.”
• If that isn’t enough – after the verse is revealed that the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives are not like other women….they begin to wear face veils…the author has Aisha think “For whenever I ventured out into the sun, my face would be hidden away behind a veil. The bars of my jail would follow me everywhere and were unbreakable, forged from a tiny strip of cotton that was stronger than the mightiest Byzantine steel.”

There are many, many, MANY other issues I have with this book, but I don’t want to say anything more than I have.  When it comes down to it, the further I got into this book, the more I felt as if I was doing something wrong.  I have never been one to give up on a book….but I have on this one.  I have only 40 pages left, and I cannot finish it; I’ve tried, but I just can’t do it. I was talking with Nye last night on skype and told her that this book is so bad, I feel that I need to repent after reading what I have.  I feel like this is a chic-lit story written about Islam.  I’d compare it to a Harlequin Romance writer choosing to tell the story of WWII – seriously, how good of a job can they do?

In the end it all comes down to this:  The story of the birth of Islam is already greater than any human could ever attempt to tell.  Stay with your original, and best of source (the Quran) and don’t bother with this book.

Asalam alaykum,

Ladies – I wrote a while back about going through a depression phase.  At the time, I thought I was on my way out.

I was wrong.

I thought that I had worked my way out, set my soul into the warmth of the sun and was waiting for it to warm up so that I could begin my life again.  Instead, I discovered that I was back in that hole.  Ladies, I feel like I’m trapped in a cocoon, no – worse than that; encased in cement, unable to move and only passively attending to the events in my life.

I’ve had to disable all my vids on YouTube for a while (I’ll be back, insha’Allah, I just don’t know when) the amount of hate mail that I’ve been getting is just too much for me to handle at the moment.  I hate that.  Not really the hate mail, but the fact that I’ve allowed it to bother me so much.  I’m normally pretty easy going with other people’s thoughts of me and my choices, but lately…yeah, it’s gotten to me.  It’s set doubt in my heart.

So – I need to let you know that I’m going to be taking a hiatus…from facebook, from emails, from YouTube…I need to rediscover who I am and who I want to be.

I am, however, asking that you pray for me – please pray for me to make it through this.  I could use all the help that I can get.

Asalam Alaykum!  I’m not dead!  Al-hamdulillah!  I don’t know if any of you follow my own personal blog, but I posted on there why I’ve been silent for so long.  Let’s just say that wallowing in depression isn’t terribly conducive to writing.

Anyhow, I’ve been on my meds and slowly getting better.  I’m certainly not back to what I would call my normal self yet, but at least I can see that I’m heading in that direction.

While I was in this dark space, I really withdrew from everything…my Hipsters, my blog, my YouTube account….the iHip YouTube, this blog …yeah…I apologize for just vanishing like that.  There was really nothing that I could do, no way to get out of the darkness that I was in.  Then, bit by bit and day by day, I started coming out.  I started reading the blogs that I used to and started watching those Youtubers that I enjoy.

That’s when I saw this post from Sabrina of Slice of Lemon - I really love her blog voice and I have a feeling that if we ever had the chance to meet in real life, we’d make fast friends.  Anyhow, she had this post from a few weeks back and it really inspired me.  It’s all about creating new habits and how it’s supposed to take 21 days of doing something for these habits to form…so she has her list of things, I have my own (sorry, not going to share most of the things on my list…it’s just private, ya know?)

Anyhow – I’m planning on sitting down and making a more “formal” list by Friday…and hopefully making a video in which I’ll share some (not all!) of my things I want to change…Who wants to join me (and by default, Sabrina) and make some small, easy changes that will make us better people??

If you’re willing to share, post your lists in the comments box, on our fanpage, or link to your videos about what you want to change!  Inspire the world!

Asalam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu

In Ramadan, our family breaks our fast with Lentil Soup.  It used to be just cheap old Chicken Noodle, but since a great friend of mine gave me her Lentil Soup recipe, we haven’t gone back.  I did try DedeMed’s Lentil Soup – and it was good, don’t get me wrong, but it just wasn’t “the soup” that our family likes.

So, I decided to share the recipe, with special thanks to Sarah for sharing with me in the first place!

Ramadan Lentil Soup

• 10 cups water
• 1 1/5 cups red lentils, rinsed
• 1/4  cup rice
• 1/4  cup olive oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 clove of garlic, crushed
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tbsp ground cumin
• Parsley and lemon wedges for garnish

Asalam alaykum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu

I’ve left what is probably the most important post in Ramadan prep for last.  The thing is, this is what *I* do to prep myself for Ramadan, which may be very different from what you do…and I don’t want to imply that if you do something differently, that you’re wrong…that’s not the case at all.  I want that to be abundantly clear.

I divide my “self prep” into 3 categories.  First is my physical self; I ensure that I have all my vitamins, medications, and any other problems in order.  This means that I’ll make that trip to the doctor’s, if need be…or perhaps get a few wisdom teeth yanked.  ;o)  I always try to be in good physical health, and this includes exercise.  Normally, I would continue with my exercise routine in Ramadan, but with the hours that I’ll be fasting where I live, I just don’t see how it will be probable this year.  Insha-Allah, I’ll get back into the swing of it after the end of the month.

The second category is my emotional self.  Is there something bothering me that I need to deal with before Ramadan starts?  I don’t want to head into Ramadan with anger, hurt or resentment festering away inside of me.  Sometimes this means that I may need to confront the issue and deal with it, other times it means I need to reassess my reactions to what’s going on.  In the end, I want to be able to be free from anything that will drag me down in the month.  This doesn’t always happen, but it is the ideal that I strive towards.

The final category is my Spiritual Self.  I try to think about what areas of my iman (faith) that I need to improve in.  I think about what I’m doing well, what I could improve on, and what areas need attention.  I always set myself a goal of reading the entire Quran in the month (I haven’t for the last few years due to school work…but this year, I’m school free!!)  I try to keep to the 1 juz (part) per day or even more if I can.  For information on where each juz starts and ends, you can click here.  I also highly recommend that new Muslims read their Qurans from back to front.  The suras (chapters) are smaller and a little easier to digest, plus it gives you such a feeling of accomplishment.  I’ve been a Muslim for 14 years, and I still read my Quran this way!

I hope that you have found these Ramadan Prep Posts helpful!  Let me know if there are any other areas you think I should touch on, or if you have some great advice, why not submit it as an article!

Peace and Love!

Asalam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

I touched on this yesterday while talking about my Christmas Ramadan Lights…but I’m going to go more into it now.

When I prepare for Ramadan it means that it’s a massive clear out of my house.  It’s amazing how much junk can just accumulate in our homes (and God knows, I seem to be a collector of useless, unneeded items!)  This means that boxes and bags are filled with stuff to take to the donation centers.  I get the kids to do the same with the toys that they no longer play with and I clean out my husband’s closet. (shhhh!  don’t tell him!!)

I then start on the good old “deep clean” of the house.  Floors, walls, carpets, furniture, shelves, nick-knacks — they all get cleaned/dusted/vacuumed/washed.  I somehow feel that having a cleaned, decluttered home somehow helps me spiritually.  I can’t really explain this clearly, but that’s about as good as I can do!  If you’re not a person who likes to clean (I certainly don’t!) there are websites and such that can help.  I like Flylady - she breaks everything down into nice, manageable portions.  You can start off with her “15 minute decluttering,” and then move on to her more detailed cleaning lists (these are my favorites…it’s my “deep clean” to-do list!)

So, you’ll see by now that I’m a list maker.  I live via lists.  This year, I found a great Ramadan Battle Plan – I downloaded it and printed off the pages that I felt were most useful to me (essentially just the 30 daily pages).  I’ve planned out my menus for the month ensuring that I have a good variety of foods (ie, a beef, lamb, fish, and chicken iftar each week).  I decided to leave my weekends unplanned for 2 reasons – first, we are often invited or inviting someone on the weekends – I think it’s nice to buy fresh food to prepare for guests, or to make a simple dish (like grape leaves) to bring if we are invited; second – if we’re not invited anywhere, we can eat left overs from the week.   It’s also very important (in my experience anyhow) to ensure that you can “go with the flow” – there are often last minute invitations, or an extra person or two (or more) at the table in Ramadan.  The joy of sharing is somehow magnified during Ramadan.

In my battle plan I have everything written out: the meal I plan on cooking, where to find the recipe, and approximate times to start cooking.  I also have reminders like “set the coffee pot” and “pull out meat from freezer for tomorrow” <— those are the things that I always forget to do!

The great thing about planning out your meals this way is that you can go through your recipes for the week and make yourself a nice little grocery list – don’t forget to include things like spices or other things that you can easily overlook.

In the end, I have a cleaned and organized home, a well-planned menu system, and 4 grocery lists for the entire month.

My next post will be about preparing myself for Ramadan, I’A.

Asalam alaykum was rahmatulahi wa barakatu,

I can hardly believe it but Ramadan is just around the corner!  What do you do to prepare your kids?

Our family doesn’t really have any “rituals” but I’ve been trying really hard to set some up.  This year, I’m decorating my house with Christmas Tree lights but we’ll just call them “Ramadan Lights” lol!  While I was in Mexico, I bought these lovely metal stars, which I think are for holding incense…anyhow, they’re gorgeous, so I’m going to hang those off of my ceiling along my entry way with some fish line or something. (can you tell this is obviously a work in progress??)

Then, I’m going to pull out the usual things.  I have to say, thank God for the internet and the talented ladies who post things up there, because if it weren’t for them, I’d be running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off!

For the last 2 Ramadans, I’ve been using these awesome Ramadan Calendars - they are so lovely and well made…and I need to buy another one now that Adam is big enough to really participate in our evening activities.  Anyhow, the first few years, I just filled them up with candy and the kids got to put a star on each night and eat a little candy.  However, last year, Adam ate them all – yes, ALL of the candies by the first week.  Smart little dude put the wrappers back into the pockets of the calendar so we didn’t know it until we started pulling empty candy!  lol  This year, however, I’ve decided that I will fill the pockets with tasks for the children to do; things like “recite surat Al-Nass” or “tell me the story of Noah” etc.  Some days I plan on having them do things that they will have to learn and study, other days may just be a coloring page, or making a card.  I think that this will work better for our long days.  They can look into the pocket for their daily Ramadan activity and work on it all day long.

A lot of the activities that I have planned for the kids I took from TJ Ramadan - she has such a wonderful plethora of activities, information, downloads and more!  I just love it!  Please take the time to search through her whole site, she has such great stuff and links to other websites – such a valuable resource!

At the end of Ramadan, my husband comes home from the mosque to announce the Eid day…we put up the banner (it’s the last picture on that post) that I got from the lovely Handmade Beginnings – her blog is filled with all kids of activities too, and she has an Etsy shop that seems empty now, but perhaps that may change.

My next post will be about how I prepare and plan my home and meals for Ramadan, I’A!

So now share with me – what do you do with your children during Ramadan?

Asalam alaykum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu

A while ago we got an email in our YouTube inbox and I felt that it was something that I could best answer as I have been where this young girl is.  Here’s a bit of her plea:

Salam sisters.a i’m a 16 year old girl living in america, wearing a hijab…. when my muslims friends would ask me why i decided to wear it, i would say that i thought Allah wanted me to wear it. that was a good enough reason to wear it for me, in the beginning. lately it hasnt been enough of a reason. i still dont understand to much of WHY Allah wants me to wear it. i understand the modest part, and i completely agree with it, but there are ways to be modest without wearing hijab and i know many nonhijabis that dress more modest than hijabis….i feel it was too big of a decision to make when i was so young (only 14) since it is ment to be a life long commitment. i miss loving to wear hijab, and being excited to put it on. for the past 6 months i have been dreading to put it on before i leave. i really need your advice. i wish i liked wearing it and i feel extremely guilty that i dont like wearing it. i dont even want to tell anyone that i dont like to wear it because i’m embarrassed. i feel weak and i dont know what to do, i feel that i cant to talk to anyone about this. JAK

It’s tough, I know this because I’ve been there.  I started wearing Hijab when I was about 20 and I still went through the same emotions.  I don’t think it’s a matter of when you put it on…and I think that we all, at one time or another, resent the hijab a bit.  You think “Oh, I could do my hair like that” or “I could wear that skirt”…and then you grumpily toss on your hijab and head out the door.

But, with that being said, it’s a phase that you go through.  It’s my opinion that there are many women out there who are going through this, but for whatever reason, they aren’t brave enough to bring it out to the open…so then you’re left feeling even worse.  You end up thinking that you are the ONLY one who has ever felt this way.

In the end, what’s my advice?  To keep the hijab.  To pray for guidance.  To read Quran.  To watch YouTube videos on Islam or Hijab.  To find sisters at the mosque whether it’s through a youth group (my mosque has one) or even just the lectures that are given.  You need to surround  yourself with Islam.

It’s ironic that I offer this advice because when I went through my “hijab resentment” phase, I did the exact opposite.  I pulled away from it all.  I went through the motions of prayer without hardly an intention.  I stopped reading my Quran.  I avoided the mosque like the plague.  And what did it get me?  A heart that was even more hardened.

Slowly, bit by bit, I began to re-establish my faith.  I never turned my back on Islam, but I had closed my heart to it for a while.  I started out by watching Amena’s videos.  Finding out that I could be faithful and stylish was a God send!  Then I started going to the mosque every now and then.  Then Nye’s video diary through Ramadan came along and for me it was like finding Islam all over again.  It took a long, long time for me (probably a couple of years) for me to claw my way through this journey, but eventually I made it.

There are just a few things that I want to point out.  Hijab is not only the cloth you wear on your head.  It is all encompassing.  Think of it like a filter – it should act as a filter for the things that we say, the actions we do and even our thoughts.    You are right when you say that there are many Muslims out there who dress modestly and don’t wear a hijab; and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  However I think that we should always be looking to step forward in Islam.  Allah tells us in the Quran:

“ And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons…”
[Al-Qur’an 24:31]

We know that Allah tells us to wear hijab – so if we are already wearing hijab, why would we take a step back and remove it?  Why would we exchange something that is better for something that is worse?  There are many people who ask why Allah asks this of us, and I’m not sure that I can, or even should, provide an answer.  I’m sure that if you looked hard enough, you would find your answers, but I also think that perhaps we may all have different reasons.  Perhaps it’s to measure your ego, or maybe it’s to show your courage, or maybe it’s to show your love…you need to find YOUR reason.  Maybe that’s the reason that you’re facing difficulty now; you don’t have a reason other than “God says so.”  Surely, that’s a good enough reason for some people, but it wasn’t a good enough one for me.  I was embarrassed of my hijab.  I was scared of being ostracized or demonized.  I had to find my reason for wearing my hijab…and once I did, I fell in love with it all over again.

A closing thought:  A few weeks ago, the Imam at my mosque was giving a lecture to some converts…I was brave enough to ask “is it normal to go from having a great amount of faith and then swing to having a hardened heart?” and his answer brought me such peace, “Of course!  You can’t expect to not be tested by Allah.  He tests those he loves.”